Do you remember playing "Follow the Leader" as a child? ...
It's a game where a leader or "head of the line" is chosen, then the children all line up behind the Leader. The leader then moves around and all the children have to mimic the leader's actions. Any players who fail to follow or do what the leader does are out of the game. The last person standing other than the leader is now the new leader.
Looking back I can't recall if I enjoyed the game or not. Was I ever the leader? If so, how creative was I in leading my followers? Was I any good at following, and copying the leader? What did I learn? How important was this game as part of my growing up?
What I do know, is that as adults we play this game all the time, often without realising.
At work, we learn to mirror and match the body language of those we need to impress, influence or emulate. An entire industry exists around the Art of Leadership, learning it, being assesed in it and of course both Industry and the Military can't exist without it.
This lead and follow concept even seems to happen at home. Not just in terms of men and women taking turns to play a lead role over things like managing finances, managing the kids, or picking out the new curtain fabric, but its such an engrained dance of 'two step' that we end up even looking alike!
Research says married couples end up looking alike, taking on each others mannerisms and facial expressions. Taken to another extreme you may have found yourself watching Crufts this week and thinking to yourself 'how alike many pets and humans' look.
It seems that within any normal day, we can spend time in either the "follow" mode or the "lead" mode, except when it comes to being with our horses. When, I bet for most people, we revert to taking the "Lead" role. Even if we consciously try to soften our leadership style believing it to be a 51:49 joint venture, ultimately WE assume the position of Leader.
Why, and is there an alternative?
Traditionally we are taught by others that most alternatives are fraught with danger putting us in risk of getting pushed over, trodden on, thrown, bitten, kicked, trampled etc,. (Thank god horses don't work in our offices too or we'd never leave home)!
Parelli and 'Join Up' have in many ways helped many people pave a way to safety when confronted with such overpowering risks. Interestingly, when you re-examine these techniques (all of which Ive experimented with), they still assume and are based on the fact that WE must take the leader role.
This got me thinking.... and so I now want to investigate what it might be like, to un-learn being the leader, and to play the game of " follow the leader" with my horses. I want to find out what happens when I follow them and their attention and whim, without any pressure, agenda or purpose from me.
I want to find out what that's like for me now, as an adult. What kind of experience will it be? Can we live in harmony and safety? What will my horse and I get out of it? (Spoken like a true left brained, linear thinking human)!!!
Will I even be able to let go of the need for control? First I'll have to have a clear picture in my head of what that alternative looks like and how i'll do it.
It's a game where a leader or "head of the line" is chosen, then the children all line up behind the Leader. The leader then moves around and all the children have to mimic the leader's actions. Any players who fail to follow or do what the leader does are out of the game. The last person standing other than the leader is now the new leader.
Looking back I can't recall if I enjoyed the game or not. Was I ever the leader? If so, how creative was I in leading my followers? Was I any good at following, and copying the leader? What did I learn? How important was this game as part of my growing up?
What I do know, is that as adults we play this game all the time, often without realising.
At work, we learn to mirror and match the body language of those we need to impress, influence or emulate. An entire industry exists around the Art of Leadership, learning it, being assesed in it and of course both Industry and the Military can't exist without it.
This lead and follow concept even seems to happen at home. Not just in terms of men and women taking turns to play a lead role over things like managing finances, managing the kids, or picking out the new curtain fabric, but its such an engrained dance of 'two step' that we end up even looking alike!
Research says married couples end up looking alike, taking on each others mannerisms and facial expressions. Taken to another extreme you may have found yourself watching Crufts this week and thinking to yourself 'how alike many pets and humans' look.
It seems that within any normal day, we can spend time in either the "follow" mode or the "lead" mode, except when it comes to being with our horses. When, I bet for most people, we revert to taking the "Lead" role. Even if we consciously try to soften our leadership style believing it to be a 51:49 joint venture, ultimately WE assume the position of Leader.
Why, and is there an alternative?
Traditionally we are taught by others that most alternatives are fraught with danger putting us in risk of getting pushed over, trodden on, thrown, bitten, kicked, trampled etc,. (Thank god horses don't work in our offices too or we'd never leave home)!
Parelli and 'Join Up' have in many ways helped many people pave a way to safety when confronted with such overpowering risks. Interestingly, when you re-examine these techniques (all of which Ive experimented with), they still assume and are based on the fact that WE must take the leader role.
This got me thinking.... and so I now want to investigate what it might be like, to un-learn being the leader, and to play the game of " follow the leader" with my horses. I want to find out what happens when I follow them and their attention and whim, without any pressure, agenda or purpose from me.
I want to find out what that's like for me now, as an adult. What kind of experience will it be? Can we live in harmony and safety? What will my horse and I get out of it? (Spoken like a true left brained, linear thinking human)!!!
Will I even be able to let go of the need for control? First I'll have to have a clear picture in my head of what that alternative looks like and how i'll do it.
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